Guilty and Not So Guilty Pleasures

Written by
Nicki Sooter Wilcoxson

Lately, I have been giving a lot of thought to things that I really enjoy doing--things that give me pleasure. Some of these things are not very good for me and are sometimes things that I could be spending my time in much more useful ways. However, at this point in my life, I have decided that good for me or not--it is okay and I might even say that I deserve to pamper myself or use my time in any way I like. Perhaps the key word is moderation. I think Jim adopted this attitude a long time ago and this allows him to play golf as much as he likes and be guilt free. He has even given in to moderation on some occasions and has been willing to take time out of his golfing to do home related chores or even give in to leaving his clubs at home on certain vacations and trips.

One of my most recent pleasures that I allow myself is to spend time relaxing in our backyard reading and sipping tea even when I have many many chores that I should be doing in the house. As with most things I find that I must have a rationale for such "irresponsible" behavior : ) and in this case my rationale is to allow my Chloe Cat to play outside safely in the yard without taking off for the neighbors or chasing her feline friends down the alley. She actually loves having me outside with her and will curl up beside me. When she gets bored and heads for the fence, we know that it is time to take a nap inside.

Naps are another guilty pleasure that can be enjoyed in moderation. These are often necessary after working out at the gym or working around the house for a couple of hours. My problem is that the naps can stretch out for more time than can be justified as guilt free. Of course, that just means that I can stay up later if I want to. The key is to work harder during awake times!

As I have said before another pleasure for me is watching television. Jim and I both spend way to much time on this activity. He adores the golf channel and no matter what is on, he enjoys watching it. For example he watches golf matches from ages and years ago as well as recent or current tournaments. I have tried to ban the paid commercials and programs about all the new golf gadgets and miracle working equipment because they have a tendency to end up in our garage at some point! He is already throwing out hints for a golf GPS "gadget" for Christmas. Many of his friends have them now. My only concern other than the high price is whether or not he can actually learn to use it. However, if he is truly motivated maybe he will put it to good use if Santa leaves it in his stocking.

I, on the other hand, have become addicted to watching the Real Housewives series. While I find them generally disgusting because of the total addiction to material things and over inflated egos, I just can not watch. You know that old cliche about knowing a train wreck is going to happen, but you just can't stop watching! That is exactly the case here. However, I can "enjoy" their antics, cringe at the foolish behavior, and remain totally amazed at the embarrassing behaviors that unfold each week. My favorite "real" housewives are the New York group"; my least favorite are the Atlanta "ladies" (actually not so lady like with wig pulling, cursing, and back stabbing), and I watch with little passion the Orange County group. The jury is still out on the Real Housewives of New Jersey. The first year was--well what can I say--it was "interesting" with "hissy" fits and table tossing. I am anxiously awaiting the time when we will see some Real Housewives of Dallas. That, in my opinion, would be a real hoot. By the way, Jim refuses to watch any of the shows and well, I just can't understand his attitude. Lol I'll bet he would be happy to watch the "Real Babes" on the golf tour. (Yes, they do exist)

Another of my pleasures that really has to be approached in moderation is eating frozen custard. For years I rejected the very idea of frozen custard, preferring the occasional ice cream and frozen yogurt. That was before a friend introduced Sheridan's Frozen Custard in Frisco and in Lubbock. Yuuuuummy stuff. Now I have found Freddy's frozen custard in various places including the one very close to my daughter's house in Flower Mound. I think Freddy's might actually be in Highland Village. I have introduced both grandsons to this guilty pleasure and they love it, too. Jim is right there with us! I can only pray that they both avoid Amarillo for a location! Moderation would probably go right out the window and straight to my hips and thighs!

One comment on a past guilty pleasure that we have discussed before. I have always really enjoyed "Dancing with the Stars," but I have to say I am not too excited about the new 16 "stars". I will give them a try, but..........time will tell after September 21.

Other guilty pleasures and not so guilty pleasures include pedicures, gourmet pizza (575 Pizzaria) in Amarillo, and lunch with friends.

Life is Good!!

Broken Links

Written by
Nicki Sooter Wilcoxson

Forty-one years ago in May of 1968 Jim, our little daughter Kim, and I moved to Amarillo from Lubbock where I had just graduated from Tech and completed my first half year teaching in what was at that time Cooper Rural School. We arrived in Amarillo for a new job for Jim and just in time for our new daughter, Jami, to be born in October. I don't know if we ever considered the idea that we would still be living in Amarillo 41 years later with only a short stay in Booker so Jim could coach basketball for the first time in high school. Before coming to Amarillo, we had spent four years in Lubbock as Tech students. So many of our high school friends had made their way to Tech and during those four years our friendship base had not changed radically. But as 1967 loomed closer, it was obvious that most if not all of us were forging paths that had already begun to take us away from our old friends. Many of us married, had children, got new jobs, quit school, joined the military, and some even returned to Childress. I am sure that somewhere in the back of our minds we just knew that we would all remain friends and be linked through friendship forever. I don't believe that even once it occurred to any of us that we might never see one another again. After all, we would always have Childress!!

In Amarillo, Jim and I soon found ourselves enmeshed with a group of people whose link to friendship depended on the fact that all of our men/husbands were a part of the world of golf as golf shop professionals, assistant pros, or just dedicated golfers. Most were young married couples with 2 or 3 small children so the wives shared the loneliness of being married to men who through their golf course jobs had to work until dark most nights, weekends, and holidays. We depended on one another for friendship, play dates and joined together to share meals with one another and our husbands. One Thanksgiving we even had a wonderful potluck meal for all of us who were trapped at the golf courses on the holiday. One of the couples was a bit older than the rest of us and we depended on them to lead the way. I remember this as being a turbulent time with lots of problems, growing pains, and learning experiences. However, the friendships were dear to us. After a few years some of the guys got new jobs and some left for the greener pastures of California and San Antonio. The children started school, pre-school and some of the wives including myself began working outside the home. My long years of teaching had begun. Finally only Jim and one of our other friends were left in the golfing profession--this time as a golf course superintendent with long, long hours and the stress of keeping a golf course in great shape and alive. Finally it took one final tragic and violent act to catapult all of us into a time of grief and disbelief over the loss of a friend to truly sever the ties of friendship and the knowledge that nothing would ever be the same for any of us as friends who had perhaps not shared enough with one another.

The next stage of life was a wonderful time for friends. Our girls were growing up and soon they were competing with one another on Kid's Inc teams. Jim began his coaching of these little girls choosing basketball while other dad's coached track, softball, and later volleyball. Of course our friendship base expanded, taking in the parents of both girls while year after year we cheered and supported the teams. When they were older and they played on school teams, we watched them growing up and we sat with the other parents with whom we shared the support and love of all the girls. We traveled to out of town games, laughed, cried, and cheered for our girls. During this time Jim and three other parents introduced Little Dribblers to Amarillo and as a result the foundation for our friendships grew and expanded for more years. Because Kim no longer played sports after entering high school her friendships extended to more girls and we met their parents and became friends with the common interest of our daughters and their activities. Keeping an eye on this bunch was a challenge and it is true that it probably does take a village to make it work! It seemed that we were in touch with so many people, and it is true that our friends were mostly linked through the networks of our children.

In the next stage life happened. The girls grew up, went away to school, and got married. During high school, only a few were left in sports, others branched out into new activities, and we began to see parents less often. Jim went back to school to finish his degree and get his teacher's certificate. He became busy with his own teams and actually earned money. Soon his friendship base consisted of other coaches, co-workers, and a few old friends from the past who continued to follow his career. Friendship between the coaches' wives developed as well.

I loved the teachers I worked with in the schools where I taught and became friends with many of these special people. Over the years, friends moved away, changed schools, and I believe it became a case of out of sight and out of mind. There are still dear friends, but we have to work hard to make time to get together even if it is a quick lunch. Retirement and grandchildren have added a new dimension to our priorities and though no less important friends sometimes have to take a backseat to family and time. Did we ever believe that so many of our friends would be relegated to short visits in the grocery store or in the mall or even at the funeral of another friend.?

Perhaps trying to reconnect with our high school friends and other old friends has become more important to us now that we know that time is not on our side any longer. It is sort of like now or never if we want to see old friends again. Mending those broken links is difficult and it takes a lot of work. At times it is questionable if it is worth the effort and at other times something calls out to us that we must reconnect. Does that help to explain why Twitter and Facebook are so popular even at the most inconsequential level?

Think of a link as something that leads or connects us to each friend.
How many of broken links do we need to mend or add to reach lost friends?
Is it worth the effort?
That is the question that each of us has to ask.

The final thought: This post began as a reflection of connecting and reconnecting with old friends. However, I soon found myself reflecting on the various friends that Jim and I had shared at the different stages of our life. I strongly believe that many of our experiences mirror to some degree the lives of many of the blog readers. It is amazing how many of our old friends who are no longer in our lives come into my mind and I can clearly see and remember old times. Sadly, I know I will probably never see them again and yet we were blessed to have them as part of shared past experiences. The dear friend that we lost so tragically in our golf world era was a young mother of three children who so tragically and unexpectedly took her own life. Today we know that in all probability she suffered from post-partum depression which had not been identified in the world of the 1960's at least in our lives. None of us ever totally recovered from the horror of the event, but she remains in my heart and in my mind forever.

Happy Valentine Day

Written by Clara Robinson Meek

What? This isn't February?

How time flies. Okay, so I'm a little late. My intentions in February were noble. I KNOW I had an idea in February. I probably sat down at the computer, heard the dryer buzzer, and the rest is self

explanatory-------senior moments.

Back to Valentine Day. We all remember the anticipation. We were all conditioned by the age of 6 to get really excited about this day, forming unrealistic expectations from the get-go.

How many years of our lives are spent wondering what kind of flowers you'll get, will there be chocolates, what special thing can I do for my significant other? When the day arrives, you may have thoughts you aren't proud of-----------he spent too much on a bunch of wilted greenery------what happened to that silver bracelet I talked about incessantly for the entire month of January?---------he really hates the potted cactus I got him-------what's so special about dinner at Furr's Cafeteria?

After 41 years of marriage, I think we may have matured a little. This last Valentine Day was the most perfect one of all.

I received a heart shaped rock found on one of our walks along Cibolo Creek. PERFECT! I view that rock as one of my most cherished objects.

I baked a perfect mincemeat pie for my guy.

The pie is usually a Christmastime treat. It didn't make the menu due to dessert overload. So, it was a nice surprise to receive on Valentine Day.

He loved it.

Less can be better!

Take Me Away

Tea Time
Written by
Nicki Sooter Wilcoxson

Many of you will remember an old commercial on television that shows a very stressed out woman who in desperation pleads for Calgon to take her away and then we see her unwinding in a bathtub filled with bubbles. Obviously, the woman is grateful for a mini vacation.Even today, that mini vacation or one like it is still appreciated, but a 21st century woman might have something a little more substantial and adventurous on her mind.



Recently, on a flight to Alaska that lasted 6 hours, I became acquainted with a woman who was also traveling to Alaska, but with a much different goal in mind than mine which was to get to a cruise ship, buffets loaded with food, and the opportunity to view wildlife from afar--very, very afar. My new acquaintance was on the way to lead a group of women through the Alaskan wilderness which would include meeting bears up close and personal, camping out, kayaking, canoeing, rafting and other activities. This would be a true opportunity for women to have a real adventure. Not only was my new friend a leader of the group, she worked for an adventure travel site called Adventure Women. Before she became a leader she had been a participant in several of the adventures both nationally and internationally. One in particular that she told me about was a trip to and down the Amazon. She said that the adventures are very much sought out by groups of friends, mothers and daughters, sisters, family members, co-workers and just women in general who seek to experience interactive adventures rather than more passive travels.

Because she gave me her card, I have visited the web site and I admit to being envious of women who are able to participate in this type of travel. To find out if you are an "adventure woman" visit the web site. By the way--not all of the adventures are camping out and rough living. There are several adventures in Montana that include skiing, fall, ranching and hiking. Perhaps you would prefer Iceland, the Himalayas, Baha whale watching, or New Zealand.

Another opportunity to be "taken away" but in perhaps a little less adventurous way was shared with me by Jan Bell (wife of J.R. Bell). Perhaps some of you are unaware that J.R. has family in England. On occasion, Jan has been able to visit and has taken "walking holidays" across England and Ireland. I am so intrigued by this possibility as something I would really love. I dream of walking through Cornwall, the homeland of Jane Austen, and so much more. For more information visit their website.

When all else fails grab a glass of tea, a good book, a cat to pet and sleep in your lap and head for the shade tree in your yard!

Threads of Love

Written by Clara Robinson Meek

I would like to share this with everyone, because I am awed by the women who are totally committed to this cause.

You may have heard of the Threads of Love. For the sake of expediency, I'm going to write about them with very little facts regarding their inception and the who's, what's and where's of their organization. If you want more information, leave a comment and I'll get answers for you.

This particular group of people are currently housed in a huge room provided by Oak Hills Church. They meet weekly. They are all ages, races, religions. They come together to provide for premature infants, stillborn infants, and the parents of such.

Products made by hand are: burial gowns, tiny knitted hats and shoes, at least 3 different sizes of preemie wear, special tiny swaddling things designed to support the baby and make it easier for the nurses to handle tubes, etc., soft tiny positioning pillows

to comfort the babies, receiving blankets-------some knitted, some quilted, some crocheted, beautifully lined caskets, and small painted memory boxes to hold locks of hair, a poem, a footprint, a scripture.

All of these are made by volunteers with materials either donated or bought with donated cash. Donated wedding dresses are used so creatively and beautifully for gowns and casket liners. The caskets are made by retired men who love to

work with wood.

The area hospitals let the organization know what they need on a weekly basis. The numbers are mind boggling.

I became involved through a dear friend who lines caskets. She requested painted boxes. I had no idea what they wanted or how tremendous the demand for a city our size. I am just thankful that what little talent (in the grand scheme of things) I have is purposeful.